


The Only One

by ChocolateKat (northkat)



Series: MDZS Oneshots [1]
Category: Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Mo Dao Zu Shi, 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
Genre: AU of what happens after Song Lan leaves the city, Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Gen, Pining, how much can i emphasis the angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 14:58:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15821235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northkat/pseuds/ChocolateKat
Summary: After Song Lan left the city of fog and blood, he does what he can to find redemption for them both.





	The Only One

**Author's Note:**

> I love MDZS so very much and especially XXC's backstory; it hit me in the feels and I can't get up. This is a version of what could happen after the canon events. Hope you all enjoy!

## Conscious

A life-time of wandering the lands was what awaited him after he left the city of mist. Becoming a fierce corpse was a blessing in disguise; what he failed to accomplish while alive can be left behind, all that’s left is a journey of peace-seeking and redemption.

***

In the end, he doesn’t know how it happened, not really.

As soon as he left, he continued where Xiao Xingchen left off; night hunting and helping the common people. He approached the smaller villages first: the self-sustaining communities of houses clustered together and maybe a marketplace if they were lucky made him feel at ease. Cities were a grim reminder of that fog-filled place of terror. No, he certainly wasn’t ready for cities just yet.

Occasionally he would look at the pouches, just to marvel that they were there with him. Secretly in his heart, he hoped that his friend was gaining peace through his acts of saving these far-off villages.

***

He went up the mountains next because of news that beasts were starting to migrate downwards and invade villages. Very quickly, he encountered a problem.

Whenever the fog grew repressive, he got nauseous that maybe this was all a dream and that Xue Yang is still controlling him to commit atrocities. He would hastily open his robe to check the inner pockets for the pouches. When he saw that they were still there, he internally sighed in relief.

His heart was disturbed nonetheless, and he was unable to relax.

It was godsent when he heard the news of other cultivators coming to stem the problem. With a guarantee that his help will not be needed, and he left the mountains immediately.

He trekked across the deserts instead.

***

Going across the desert…was an interesting experience.

His body was a fierce corpse and after years of being mentally suppressed, he thought of himself as a corpse—a tool—instead of human. The desert proved an interesting adversary to his point of view. He did not know that a fierce corpse was capable of seeing mirages. Perhaps he was still human after all.

One thing changed after leaving the desert: he no longer looked at the pouches in the hidden pocket of his robe.

***

His arrival back in civilization surprised him greatly. 

The two boys who rescued him--Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji--had apparently caught the culprit behind the old Nie Sect’s leader’s untimely death. 

He sneered when he heard that the grand mastermind was Jin Guangyao. Was it not he who also invited Xue Yang as a guest disciple? Such a poisonous and devious plot, no wonder Xue Yang put his lots with that person.

Unconsciously, his thoughts went back to the souls in the pouches. Inadvertently, them catching Jin Guangyao brought justice to everyone who suffered from Xue Yang. More-so him and Xiao Xingchen, since Jin Guangyao definitely would know of Xue Yang’s plot to blind him and murder his family.

Despite being an undead, he felt the softest twitch in his heart. Hope cannot be given a name, and this feeling of his cannot be described. 

That tiny sliver of hope which he had held on to all this time once again flared in his chest. 

***

The years were a blur and he could only barely remember the defining moments of when he came across tough opponents in the form of ancient demonic beasts or spiritual beings unable to rest. He lost count of the years and time…just flowed. With or without Xiao Xingchen by his side, the sun rose and fell, seasons changed, and nations ruptured and declined.

It was lonely.

Maybe in his heart, he always hoped that Xiao Xingchen was still there. That in the tiny pouch, the last remnants of his friend was slowly mending itself. That maybe, maybe, he would one day appear before him and finally say, “I am at peace,” before departing to the promised land. And the young maiden A-Qin will childishly blow a raspberry at him before following her daozhang. 

But time had passed without any signs of movement.

Not a whisper of the souls, much less any actual physical movements. Both pouches stayed silent and still for the uncountable amount of years that Song Lan wandered.

It was lonely being the only one awake and conscious of what was going on in the outside world.

***

In the end, he didn’t know when it was that he gave up.

He had held onto the faintest sliver of hope for so long, but time washed his faded apologies away.

Xiao Xingchen wasn’t here--will never be here and maybe wasn’t here in the first place--and time continued its relentless march into a future without him.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahahahaha did I raise your hopes up only to drop it upon spikes so you can see it shatter and fade away into nothingness?
> 
> Please believe me when I say I want these bois to be happy but THE ANGST POTENTIAL HERE IS JUST!! SO!! HIGH!!!  
> Feel free to comment when you started becoming disillusioned in the happy ending ^^ (or which scenes were your fav)


End file.
